A word? Your word? Any word?

Promises are like vouchers. They are an assurance that something agreed upon will happen. Promises, to me, are iffy. They can often depend on weather, other people, sickness, and timing. Occasionally flexing or breaking a promise may happen. Repeatedly doing so makes you untrustworthy.

Giving your word is solid. If I give someone my word, I'll be moving heaven, earth, and the Milky Way to keep my word. It's a matter of integrity and dependability. It's a sign you can trust me, and if you keep your word, I can trust you. This is a solid foundation for growth and building.

For as long as I've been in the publishing game, I'm a newbie to the conferences and book signing events. I haunt FB, TikTok, Insta, Threads, and RWA to see what suits me best. I also take geography into consideration as I don't want to drive over a day. I have physical limitations that require me to rest more often than others. I network at these events and have LOVED my table mates at all. But I digress.

There was a book event this last weekend. I'm not naming it because this isn't about driving people to this blog using the name. But I will use it as an example. This event was one I considered since it was geographically close enough for me to drive within a day. Wasn't crazy about the weather, but I was jealous of those going. 

By all accounts, it was a shitshow of monumental proportions. It had grown to over five times the size of last year but no accommodations were made for that. Authors, readers, and volunteers did not receive books, time, nor instructions. There were no ADA accommodations. No security. Influencers were treated poorly. Readers did not receive their PRE-ORDERED books from their authors and did not get to meet some of them.

Every story coming out of this event hurts me. The pure excitement attendees felt only to have some of the worst times of their lives...it can't be fixed. No apology is that big. And for the record, no apology has been issued except for a reference to "bumpy bumps". 

I have a book event in late May in Des Moines. I am EXCITED! Am I optimistic? You bet! Am I cautious? You bet! 

I have no idea what it's going to be like, but I give you MY WORD I will be there with books, smiles, swag, and space buns. Come see me!

Always writing* 

Billionaires

My thoughts on billionaires in real life is not kind. Twenty years ago, the word "billionaire" didn't exist in my every day vocabulary. Why would it? But it's become quite the popular romance trope. Trope is also a new word in my vernacular. And as I typed it, I thought to myself...isn't that the same thing as motif? After a quick Google, it basically is. Shout out to my old ass. 🥳 

Billionaires are popular in romance in right now with all sorts of different spikes on the wheel. B Mafia. B Playboy. B Secret Baby. B Marriage of Convenience. B BDSM.

The appeal is broad. We readers love our fantasy worlds. How nice would it be to have a lover who you didn't have to bargain with over groceries? You can still buy the expensive apples, and he can have beef AND pork in his meatloaf. 😲 You know all the bills will be paid on time, no late fees. You wouldn't have to cook, if you didn't want. There would be a cleaning staff. 

The billionaire? He would dote on you. Worship you. Maybe he was a little bossy, but he could bend you like a pretzel and make you like it. Experimentation is a plus. He would be skilled and show you the one-orgasm at a time method is outdated.

If there were an online application process, it would overload the servers and shutdown the internet. But make no mistake, this is what a lot of women want. And if they can't live it, they want to read about it.

I've three billionaire romances in planning stages. I've started on the first of four. Not gonna lie. I'm enjoying it from this perspective, too. 😄 

Always writing*

Glasses

I've worn glasses since twelve. Neither of my parents did. I called bullshit way back. 

Am I blind as shit without them? Why, yes. Yes, I am. I loathe the fact. Except Christmastime when I can look at Christmas lights or a tree without said glasses, and it's so damn SOFT. You guys with 20/20 and better vision don't know unless you've experienced it. But those of us who have? It doesn't make up for any of the other bullshit, but it's a MOMENT, you know?

I wear progressives now. Real cute way to say I can tilt my head a certain way and can see both near and far with ONE set of glasses. Yes, I appreciate the invention. But even more? I appreciate the fact I can take my glasses off and read to my grandchildren or read a book or watch a show on my phone without the extra eyes. But, Crystal! That's what your progressives are for! Shush your butt. I do as I want...

Hopefully, sooner than later, we will have longer vacations with the kids and gbabies. I don't want that with my glasses. I don't like anything ON my glasses. Long story. And I HAVE to have them to see. Goodbye anything with water. It's horseshit.

BUT...I wore these pain in the ass glasses yesterday OVER my solar shades to watch the eclipse. The cardboard cut into my nose, and it was extremely uncomfortable, but I wanted to see what everyone else was going to see. And I did.

The sun became a mere object as the moon slid slowly in front of it, taking its time, swallowing small pieces of bright yellow in tiny bites, not great gulps. It was a sci-fi Pac-Man eaten by a moon ghost. (Once an eighties kid...) It was Dr. Who's street lamp that always shines on the TARDIS. It was a shiny crescent moon who talked to "Bear in the Big Blue House." It was...

...a sliver of something bright, far away. A mysterious tip of a yellow fingernail shining back on a round rock determined to cover it up. Did dinosaurs look up and see only a sunny fragment before their lives changed? Did our ancestors cower or scream? Dance or sacrifice? Was it a beginning to some? An end for others? How much power had the rock? How much power had the bright?

The next dance is 2045? I'll be in my mid-seventies, if still aboveground. And hopefully, only wearing one pair of shades. 😎

Crystal*  

Monsters folie à deux

We don't believe in torches and pitchforks anymore in the world of writing romance books. We are, after all, in the business of happily-ever-after.

Bring us your werewolves, vampires, sea creatures. We will craft stories where these "monsters" get the girl, boy, girls, or boys of their dreams. 

I grew up watching Bella Lugosi as both Dracula and the Wolfman. A large decisive slant on his true intentions. Also, he was not meant to be the butter on your toast. Or, at least not mine. 

My next true remembrance of a vampire was Chris Sarandon of "Fright Night". Now. HERE was a man I'd think of letting butter anything he'd like. (I haven't had breakfast!) I was also a hormonal teenage girl. And my favorite creature has always been a vampire because they are masters of seduction. You can drain every ounce of blood from my body, but I can feel pleasure from the process?  Left or right side?

There have been many remakes through the years which have made monsters palatable. And a couple...that have broken my heart.

Edward Scissorhands. I ugly cried. A misunderstood soul trapped in a body that betrayed him. I've only watched it once because once was enough to stick.

The Shape of Water. Though I know what happens, I can't bring myself to watch the torture of the amphibious man. The thought sticks in my chest and hurts.

That's the other side of it. It's okay to hurt these "monsters" because they're inhuman, although some are more human than actual humans. 

We want to ostracize or humanize because we don't understand, and we must understand! You don't look like me, but if you act like me, I'll find it easier to accept you. Sound familiar?

Or, when writing, if we stick to the stereotype, it's more palatable.

Wolves have packs. There can be multiple males and one female. Now. Substitute witches or vampires. Hits a bit different, doesn't it? I'm not knocking it, but it's easier to make the wolf scenario more believable.

Back to the monsters. Monster Romance is growing quickly. Part of that growth is for writers to remind themselves woman fall in love with actions. The physical side of characters falls way lower on the attract-o-meter. THIS is a fact suitors, both male/female/ otherworldly beings, need to realize.

Most women focus on what makes an individual. Do these attributes appeal to them? 

The fact this entity only has one eyeball, pointy teeth, scales, or furry feet is incidental.

Love is blind.

Always writing*

...haven't done a monster romance yet...

Monsters

When we're children, monsters are used to frighten us. We delight in Halloween and scary movies that push our adrenals and give us thrills in the moment. Monsters, we're told, look and act like this. Most have become stereotypes of themselves.

While I was writing yesterday, I wrote a scene with monsters in it. Specifically, three characters who had been made into monsters. While they weren't model citizens before, they had been mutilated by someone they cared for and turned into dying shadows of who they were.

It bothered me a great deal.

I started this scene with a specific dialogue and outcome in mind. Instead, I've found myself pursuing an entirely new possibility for them. 

I took to Snapchat and TikTok to ask the question, paraphrased:  If you came across a damaged monster, would you seek to try and help it, or destroy it?  If it were the last or second or third last of its species? Would you consider it a mercy killing?

Monsters, to many of us, aren't vampires or werewolves, they are the bullies in school. They are the family who acts like anything but. They are the management in your job who lets you suffer slowly because they don't give a damn. These are the real monsters. They erode you with no care whatsoever. 

It's a horrible day when you realize the Monster Matinee is simply a couple hours of made-up mayhem with fake screams, blood, and actors.

It's a worse day when you see the monsters in your life. 

While I've tried to let my sleeping monsters lie, I find that I'm more likely to show mercy to others because the other option is too deep a cut to bear, even in my writing.

Always writing*

...and pondering monsters real and imagined...

 

Manifesting.

 Dear Energy,

It's me again. Need to do a bit of manifesting. 

I'm manifesting bestselling books, a personal assistant, and more energy. The first two are musts this year. That last one is rough unless my doctor finds a miracle drug. 

I bring bestselling book energy to myself. I bring personal assistant energy into my own energy. I'm open and willing to work on both to receive both.

Ready, willing, and able.

Always writing*

...and manifesting 💖

Calm before the storm

Restless today. Maybe time change. Maybe me. Both?

This week is a quiet one for me, and I'm thankful for it.

Next week will be balls to the wall. I seem to thrive in that. Until it's over. And then I both look and feel like roadkill. heh

Extremely excited about no appts this week. Grocery shopping Wednesday, the usual fare. But starting next Tuesday, I have an appt that day, groceries Wednesday, appt Thursday, hair appt Friday and leaving after that to drive down and spend the night in my Arlington hotel to go to my first book event this year, which is the Home Run Author Event in Choctaw Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

It's a lot. But I'm always uber excited about book events. 

The buzz and the excitement is like a drug, I swear. You're in a place with your people, both authors and readers. I'm convinced my pupils must be HUGE. 😂

Seems to be about fifty of us. My adrenaline is pumping, simply thinking about it. Having never gone to this particular event, I'm not sure how many books to take, which titles, etc. I think I've decided on 20 each of OHH, Canary-both, PCA, and a bookmark with a code for a free download. I'll also have free pens and bags. 

Simmering down. Hope tomorrow is more productive mind seems to be scattered right now. Guess we'll see how tomorrow goes.

Always writing*

Discounted eBooks!

March 3rd-March 9th, 2024

My eBooks will be discounted! Come read me. 😄 

Great time to find something new.

Happy reading!

A feeling

For some unknown, as of yet, reason, I believe my March to be busy. I DO have my March event in Arlington:  Home Run Author Event

Excited about that. 😊

I have a couple other things, but nothing to make me feel like I feel right now. It's giving me a bit of anxiety. I need no help in this area. 😑

I'm writing on my dark fantasy romance today. I quite love it. Infinitely darker and deeper than I've done before.

My three books I'll release this year are:  dark fantasy, "Incantation"--4th book in the Rivers Series, and "Out of the Shadows"--last book in the Canary Trilogy. I wanted to release five, but these three are the priority. I might fit in some short stories, but it's already MARCH! I didn't think I was going to make it through January, but here we are.

The ONLY bad thing about a productive day, me being at this desk tap tapping away, is that I think I need food inhalation to meet the writing productivity. If I'm in the flow, I eat more. My brain thinks that since it's expending so much energy, I must need snacks. 😂

Oh, Lordt.

Have a good Friday!

Always writing*

...and inhaling snacks on those productive days

Who am I kidding?

I am chaotic neutral. Emphasis on chaotic. I seek absolute freedom and individuality.

I'm attempting to stick to some type of schedule. My want for some type of organization is butting heads with my need to go with the flow and work and exist in the space that lets me create when I need/want to. It isn't remotely pretty.

I decided to take each day of the week and have at least one fixed item I will maintain and then continue to do what I'm drawn to.

I have Monday and Tuesday. 😬

Possible solutions? Try even harder. Acquire a jacket that buckles in the back. Go full rager. Have all my personalities gather for a therapy session. Keep on keepin' on. Lose what's left of my sanity.

Stellar options. *deepest sigh possible in the known universe*

Okay. Going to try this daily at least one fixed item. Then be about my business and what strikes me. How many days does it take to make a habit? Twenty-one? Awesome. Yes. I'm going to out-stubborn myself. Please don't ask me how this makes sense. It just somehow does. 

I hope. 😂

Always writing*

...and playing mind games with myself to do so

When I realized writers (me) were insane.

It happened to me. About a minute and a half ago. Taking a small brain break. Looking at FB. When it hit me. I am certifiable. Completely. And well with it.

Writers are insane. Insane obligatory definition:  in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction.

 That's my wheelhouse. But let me really explain a writer's insanity to you.

Right now, I'm making a TikTok/Insta video. I'm wearing my TARDIS pants, a ratty shirt, and my beautiful hair is pulled up in a not-so-cute bun. Laundry is laundrying. I'm drinking a Red Bull and water.

I have eight tabs open on one screen and my Clipchamp on the other screen with my project up. I'm sifting through 295 audio clips to find the perfect one to go with my visual I created on Canva. I color-coordinated my arrows on my visual to match my book cover. I changed the arrows up so my readers, hopefully, won't be bored with the look. I though using all the same arrows would be monotonous. Yes. I am stressing about ARROWS. 

I have my visual on screen for exactly 15 seconds because I want the audience to be able to read the necessary words but not grow so bored they swipe too quickly. That defeats the purpose. I will come up with a two or three sentence synopsis I will use to scroll-at the right speed-over said visual. It will also need to be the right color and font.

I started writing my fantasy romance. I've written a chapter. It's a good chapter. And I spent a great deal of two days typing '"word" synonym' because I had a word I could use, but it wasn't perfect. So I Thesaurus'd the hell out of some of the vocabulary looking for the EXACT verbiage I needed. Not satisfied until I found it. I scoured 65 pages of "Woman Fantasy Warrior" because I needed a good visual for my Hero, and I had to sift through fictional women wearing a handkerchief on the upper and lower bits. 65 pages, guys.

And I do this GLADLY. I look for the perfect everything when I write. I discard the meh, the almost, the "this COULD do", in favor of the shiniest, prettiest, best I can find for my audience.

The biggest tell-all of not quite being on the sane train?

I've taught myself this. I didn't know some of this organically. I love it. My SOUL loves it. The passion has ALWAYS been there. But if you would have told me that I would create something on Canva and then pop it on Clipchamp to add audio and THEN post it on my socials, I would have laugh-snorted and called you delusional.

But here I am. Looking like something Simba coughed up and creating content. 

I love my job. 

Always creating content and havoc...  

Saturday before 52.

Yesterday was incredibly busy. It was, for all intents and purposes, my day off. 

Stylist touched up my hair, yay for rose gold!, lunch with baby child, and participated at an event at the local book store.

I'm a wee bit tired this morning. Um...afternoon.

I'm trying to be more active on my FB page, Insta, and TikTok. I'm preparing bookmarks with codes for a free download of the first book in a series to take with me next month to the Home Run Author Event in Arlington, Texas.

I'm doing my plotting/pantster writing on my next work of Fantasy Romance. I have twenty separate pages in my OneNote Notebook of characters/scenes/villains. I am immersed, but I am thriving. It's such a fine line between exhilaration and exhaustion. 

But the love for the words is always there. I never grow tired of them. Weave and wind. Stitch and sew. 

Off to write a bit. Make notes. Hope everyone is having a good day! 

May take tomorrow of and play around on Amazon Prime and watch some murder/detective mysteries.

The heart wants what it wants.

Always writing*

...except when I turn 52

  

I'm astonished.

I bought PublisherRocket yesterday and have been playing with it since. It's an amazing tool that breaks down keyword and category searches on Amazon. It has tutorials. And it's full of information for authors. Handy ass tool I'm glad I have now.

But...and I say this as calmy as I can...I can now see which books are making bank and in which categories with what keywords they are using. Thus, the purpose of the site.

There is a book that is about an ungodly rich man having a one-stand with a virgin. They run into each other as their company's are doing business with each other. And there, on the landing page of the book, it states that it's a rich hero, virgin heroine, one-night stand, workplace romance HEA.

*blinks*

It's making bank.

There's no mystery. I've given you the entire book in the last paragraph. That's not a blurb, it's the damn book. And readers are eating it up. When I started publishing, we had to choose fewer categories, but that's not my point. I didn't publish a book that had:  Rich paranormal man uses false ad to imprison virgin woman to bear child. Rules of the contract prohibit further contact. Intrusive mother-in-law. Alpha male. HEA.

That's What He Wants, by the way.

I suppose I'll follow the trend, y'all know I hate the hell out of it. AND, of course the covers all look the same, and heaven forbid we buck that trend.

Hard being a visionary. 

Always writing*

...and researching...and flexing...

Matryoshka Dolls

I've always been fascinated by these. I'm not sure if it's the way they nest, or the fact they're perfectly copied. The name Matryoshka is beautiful. I read that it means "little matron" or basically "mother".

I have mental Matryoshka dolls all the damn time. I will open the largest, then the next, next, etc. I'll have all the tops and bottoms separated while I study them. And then I'll start putting them together in whichever order suits me.

My short ass is putting together an author's newsletter. Except I'm driving the struggle bus. I've fourteen tabs open. I've BookFunnel, Payhip, MailChimp, and the usual suspects open. Oh...MULTIPLE for the three I first mentioned.

Four days of stacking and sorting and studying my Matryoshkas. Shutting tabs until I was fairly confident of my success in this new world. Putting the ladies back together the way they should be. 

When I'm finished, I put the ladies back on their shelf. Until the next time.

Always writing* 

Crystal does a thing

This should be a board book.

I'm currently putting together a newsletter. I've heard everyone say it's incredibly easy to do.

Easy is subjective. I'm currently in MailChimp cursing my spicy brain and questioning myself. I will finish it today because...me. But it's not something I thought I'd be doing, quite honestly. 

I've probably tried to start one on and off for years. I know I've tried at least three times to throw one together, but I didn't have the resources or the knowledge. Now I have the resources. The knowledge is a different matter, but I'm always in favor of learning.

Not my wheelhouse, lovies, but I'll teach myself enough to make it work. Boost my confidence. And that will be another feather in my author cap. The cap will be on my bald head because I pulled out all my hair in the endeavoring, but oh well. 😄 

I've already started on my Other book. But last night, I couldn't sleep because I needed to change the beginning. I typed that up in my notes while I was still in bed, and I love it. Working both ends all day. It's actually how I prefer it.

I'm back to dragging and dropping and mumbling.

Always writing*

...and putting together a newsletter...

Feeling a bit stabby

I don't expect things in my life to go swimmingly. I would probably die of shock. But I would like things to go as planned with few hiccups.

I'm starting an author's newsletter.

Woot!

I've no idea what in the blue fuck I'm doing.

woot

Okay. Listen. I've taken notes from other authors. I've gleaned pertinent info about who supposedly is the easiest to use and how you only have to drag and drop and how simple putting that one page together is.

😑

Nay, I say unto you.

NAY

I've been dicking with MailChimp for hours. HOURS of my life, guys. And I'm not much farther in than when I started. It's not easy for me. I am driving the struggle bus. Like WTF? 

I'm a visual learner, and I looked up a YouTube video. It's a bit helpful. Will have to rewatch probably half a dozen times. *sigh*

For now? 

Feeling a little bit stabby. Just a wee bit. 

Why do people and things have to be so difficult? 😒 

Always writing*

...or looking up how to start a damn newsletter with my awkward ass...

Ya girl is EXCITED!

No. I still can't breathe out of my nose. sigh

BUT...I AM attending...

I'm completely overwhelmed and excited! The ad kept popping on my FB feed, and I wanted to go, but I thought it would involve travel and various other issues I would not be up for solving right now. But I check out the site anyway, and I'm blown away by the programs and speakers. 

It then becomes a *tiny* obsession. I want to go to this, but I'm not a member of RWA. Way back in the day, they didn't accept ePress published books. My first book published in 2005. That's how way back I mean. But they've evolved with the times. Absolutely awesome. But there's also a fee for the conference, and rightfully so, that I don't have. 

I'm looking at a late March event and wondering if I need a hotel room, how many books to take, and other items that will utilize funds. I've never been to this event. I hate not quite knowing what to expect.

I then realize that RWA, you absolute jewels, are offering a scholarship to this wonderful weekend. 😍 

I apply a day before the cut-off day.

Then I receive an email today saying I've been chosen for one of the scholarships!!! 

*office chair dancing*

This coming weekend, January 20th and 21st, is booked!

I'm virtually attending this wonderful weekend workshop for Independent Authors. 😁 

Man, I'm going to need snacks.

Always writing*

...and attending helpful workshops...thanks RWA!

 

Bon bons?

I throw myself back on the bed with a dramatic swish of my sea-green satin gown. The back of my right hand meets my forehead, and I sigh loudly. "I need the bon bons."

Hell yes, I need the bon bons. I don't think I've ever had a bon bon. But that was a running joke when I took early retirement. Lazing around. Eating bon bons. 

I do not live a bon bon life. Like...I'm curious about that tier of whatever that's called, but I would lose my shit after about six hours of it. 

Been under the weather the past four or so days. The Honey still has her lingering coughing. She had strep and an ear infection. Daughter had strep. Gbabies were sick. I don't think I had it as bad as they did, but mine came with body flares (thanks fibro, you absolute shit) and headaches. Sudden onset headaches. Not a fan.

I'm firming up my 2024 schedule with writing, appearances, etc. Starting on two new books, Contemporary Romance and that always different Other. My FB posts and my Gmail are blowing up like floats at Macey's Parade. All I could do was sort and stack.

I'd rather be busy than bon bonning. I'd rather be absolutely losing my mind over putting the perfect paragraph together or booking the right hotel or applying for an Author Event than massacring the chocolate.

Maybe some people simply aren't bon bon people. I don't think that signifies the "good life" for me. 

I'm looking more for all the family roasting s'mores at a big cabin. Having a personal assistant I can be manic with. Knowing readers are looking forward to reading my stories.

Yeah. 

That beats a bon bon any day.

Always writing*

...I think I'm prioritizing the "Other"... 

Shall we?

I took time over the Christmas holiday to step back from the writing a bit. Did I make notes? Sure. Did I type up my goals? Uh huh. Did I completely rearrange the Sanctuary? Of course I did!

But I didn't sit down in front of my computer and physically work on anything.

Today is my first day back.

And I'm conflicted because of course I am!

(small sidenote: the Honey has strep and an ear infection. I'm dreading the day her germs may catch up with me and overtake my immunocompromised system, and I fall to the enemy. will update as needed.)

Two completely different stories. 

One is a Contemporary Romance which could lead into a series.

Two is a different sort of romance I've never read. That's why I need to write it. And the characters are quieter in my head but incredibly persistent.

I can usually tell, by this far in, which story I will cater.

No such luck.

Both are giving dialogue. I've opened OneNote Notebooks on both. 

I've never written two books at once, and I truly don't wish to start now. 

My fear is that the fibro will screw me up somehow (fibro fog). On the other hand, I have two, they're so different perhaps I should try?

But that's giving four or five characters access to my headspace 24/7 instead of the usual two or three. That's a lot of voices, even for me. You know, plus the regular crowd.

And if I DO allow two books, is that what the future will look like? 

Characters simply bipping in when they want, setting up shop, and monopolizing my attention?

Do I hate that?

Nope. Not gonna lie.

Will I forget showers, eating, and my name? Mebbe...😑

sigh

I digress.

Maybe I'll work on both. I certainly need to cleanse the palate before I write "Canary: Out of the Shadows", the third and final book in the "Canary" series. 

Plan on finishing five titles this year. We'll see what shakes out.

Stay warm, my lovelies!

Shall we begin?

Hello, 2024.

Always writing*