Finding my bootstraps. Giving them a tug.

Your Chaos Cow is back.

I've had appt after appt this week, and I'm damn tired of it. News on the shoulder? AC sprain. Have some ibuprofen+ and physical therapy sheets.

Thank you, LORDT, it was not any worse. 

Does it still hurt?

Oh. Yeah. Like a bad toothache in my right arm.

woot

But that's neither here nor there. Though, it could be here. But definitely not there. More present tense. heh

I'm going to attempt to lock in my last battle for "Out of the Shadows." Emphasis on "attempt" because I am completely over this fucking scene. 

It's going to be massive. My short crazy ass did NOT see that coming, although I should have. 

No.

Literally.

And now I've added four (five?) different baddie entities to enter the ring, and I'm choreographing it in my brain, but it's never the same way twice, which is why I'm simply typing it up and examining from there.

Also, you'll remember my Sweet Simba, the kitty I love with all my soul, passed away a day before Mother's Day this year. I mourn that little ginger shit every damn day.

But I'm working on maybe finding another place in my heart for another heathen ginger boy. I've asked Sim for help. He should have a say in picking his younger brother.

Been manifesting since September. Hoping for an adoption around early-mid February.

In the meantime, I've been making cooing noises at all my ginger kitten algorithm finds on FB Reels. 

💕

Therapy this morning. Feels like forever since we chatted.

Picture of Simba, because...Simba. 💖

Dream big, Chaos Cow

Let me tell you. I dream big. And why not? It hurts nothing and gives me something to strive towards.

I'm sitting at my desk yesterday, making up my 2026 writing goals, trying to ignore the fact I'm in "waiting mode", and I decide to up my game.

Ya girl occasionally has game.

I put "finish 3 book titles" for 2025.

I upped that to 5 in 2026. 🤭

Do I entertain myself?

Oh...daily.

As I'm sitting at my table last night, I start doing math. Wait. There are only 12 months in a year, Crystal. Am I going to bust out a book every 2 1/2 months? 🤯

Seriously?

Then, I thought...why the fuck not? Why can't I? I'm fully capable of writing a book in that amount of time. But the issue is DOING IT!

What if I don't feel good that day? What if I have something come up? What if? What if? What if?

*shrug*

Life...lifes.

I've no control over it.

But I have a bit of control over myself.

Just the tiniest amount. 😂

The goal stays. 

Are the other goals as outrageous?

eh

Pretty much.

But that's why there ARE goals. 

And when I reach them...it makes it all worth while.

Now.

Pardon me, while I stress on my talk this coming Saturday at the Bethany Public Library and straighten my shit to sound like an actual functioning adult. ✌