The only way I lose ANY weight is keto. I've literally tried everything. Tae-Bo. Denise Austin. Limited calories. Limited sugar. Limited fat. Numerous mish-mash of diet and exercise. Ad nauseum.
Keto works.
Fine.
Adjusted my diet. Eating strict keto foods. On the bandwagon. Except...I can't have ice-cream. Buttered pecan ice-cream. The ice-cream of my soul.
I thought...hey! Let's grab some fruit and try to make up for missing some of that sugar ice-creamy goodness.
Green grapes.
Oh. My. Fuck.
I love those little bastards.
The ones with tight surface tension? Almost crispy?
*makes embarrassing noise*
Those.
Except...when I weighed myself this week, I GAINED half a pound.
What the fuck? Gained???
I was...let's say willfully ignorant. Because I didn't check to see if these were on the good or naughty list. I didn't want to know.
Well. Now I know.
How dare I gain a damn pound when I'm going without ice-cream. Buttered pecan, for those keeping track.
I mean...sure. I could cut back, maybe.
Instead of eating, say, five pounds in three days.
Having them for breakfast and lunch yesterday.
You know, be...moderate.
*laughs so hard I pulled something*
Alas, that is not me. Will never be me.
And so, sigh, I'm giving up the green round crispy goodness so I can fit into a cute new pair of white jeans I bought.
It's the fucking audacity.
I guess I'll live.
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