A rambling post

True story...when I remember to take my ADHD med, I micro-focus. Like...I can hone in, but then it's like an addiction, and I have to absolutely lose my mind over all the questions I have.

For my fine first example:

Watching the Honey play Animal Crossings New and Improved Somethingorother. And, of course, she's swimming, and I HAVE TO KNOW how much the items are that she's bringing to the surface. Immediately sate my curiosity. But then...dun dun duuuuunnnn...I need to know how much the fish are, and who's the most expensive?

sigh

Then I hop onto FB, and someone asks about Sigourney Weaver and the use of her first name. 🎉🥳

Are you shitting me? Off I go. Because her birth name was Susan, and she chose Sigourney, which is a French name that means "The Conqueror."

I am in the groove.

Then I need to look up whether "mum" is a flower of and by itself, or is it the nickname for "chrysanthemums"? It's the latter, by the way.

That's most of my evenings in a nutshell.

Oklahoma weather is some weird-ass bullshit. Supposed to cool off a bit Wednesday, but then we're back in the sixties and seventies? I beg your finest pardon. WTF is that supposed to be? We going to rubber band back to frigid temps in a week? Is spring upon us? What the what.

My arms and legs look like kitten pin cushions. 

Thanks, Murphy. 🙄

Querying again today (said in my best sing-song voice).

And we all know how much fun I find it. 😶

At this point in time, I wish most agents would switch to Query Tracker. I'm cutting, copying, and pasting my queries, synopses, and chapters. Some through the abovementioned site, and some through personal emails. 

sigh

A lot of it is my unorganized ass, which oftentimes thinks it's organized. I keep copies of the queries. I have a folder. What more do you people want from me???

PT: the Morrigan is now sitting at 30,000 words, and I am most excited about it. It flows, sistren and brethren. It fucking FLOWS.

That's a wrap.

Clickety click click

I've often said when I'm in the flow, my writing clicks. Like cog on cog interaction. Everything meshes together, and it's often like I'm seeing it and merely writing down what I see.

This is the best feeling ever.

That's how my writing has been with PT, and PT: the Morrigan. I'm writing chronologically. Ideas are coming to me as fast as I can write them down. Scenes unfold. I don't have to literally pull my hair out to continue the narrative I left off at. I don't know as I've ever had this level of synchronicity. I can't remember it ever being so.

I'm feeling a bit spoiled as I'm cranking out 4000+ words every time I sit and write. And they're GOOD words. But it's indescribable. Tiring but worth the hours put in. Because I feel as though my works are blooming into a place I'm meant to be.

I've often said, with this series, that I feel as if it's a culmination of my experiences and interests. 

Bettering myself. Mythology. Familial bonds. Growth. Humor. Finding truths in parallel worlds. 

Now that I've beat my own drum, I'm back to PT: the Morrigan. Man, I LOVE that warrior goddess. 

Sitting at a little over 24,000 words. 

Clickety click click.

Winter? Is it still winter? Feels like winter...

Snowmageddon wasn't as awful as anticipated. Doesn't mean my short ass got out in it. Hell...no. I think I left the house the Thursday before and then yesterday. 🤨

And those were necessities. Did another grocery pick up this morning and won't do that again for around a week or so. Tomorrow? Single digits. For the love of all that's good. Then back into the fifties for a smidge. Some absolute optimistic meteorologist/rocket scientist forecast a week from today would be sixty-eight.

ahem

WTF?

Now...maybe reaching fifty. 

The weather, of course influences me in all sorts of ways. My hips have been pissed off and singing the song of their people since Thursday. Not a fan. Had a night I could hardly fall asleep. I have a trigger finger now, because why not? That SOB aches in this cold business.

And my fibro? She's absolutely overcome with...whatever bad things you can imagine. I don't have enough profanity to supply at this time. Shocking, I know.

But I write when I can. PT: M is coming along nicely. I knew who I wanted to be the main focus, but I needed more side characters to complete the story. Lucky for me...I have ADHD, a charged phone, and Google search instincts that are the envy of my children.

I AM their Google. 🙄

The cold weather does provide with the feeling of having purpose. No one's out and about and grilling. I don't have to see people enjoying the sun. (A lot of my meds are NOT compatible with the solar entity.) I can simply take my time and find my rhythm.

Does that mean I want Jack Frost to stay? 

Erm...not for TOO long. But I also don't want 120 degrees in June. 

meh

Climate change is real. 

So are my hot flashes.

Murphy

 Murphasaurus Rex. The Murphin Man. Murphinator. Murphy Lee. Murphstradamus. 

Adopted a new baby from a local rescue. This is Murphy.

He's 7 mos old and the sweetest soul. Adopted him Wednesday, and we recliner-rotted for the past three days. Little man has no idea why I'm on this godforsaken piece of technology when he clearly needs me to provide a lap. 

The indignity AND the audacity. 🙄

That's where we are at. Have a new son. Pushing back to the writing. Waiting for it to pull a snowmageddon here. Oklahoma is supposed to be out of order until Wednesday.

Adopt! Don't shop!

Queries

 This falls under the "trial and tribulations" of this page. 😑

Queries are self-explanatory. The definition is: a question or request for information. 

Awesome.

It is also the way in which an author asks for literary representation. Many agents are on Query Tracker. This is also an excellent way to search for agents and literary agencies who are seeking what you are attempting to sell.

I also recommend MS WishList. Agents can be separated into what they are interested in. Small caveat. Do the research. Some agents are no longer with the agency listed. Check the agency site first.

Having thrown that out there, I'm seeking representation for PT. Am I going to give up indie publishing? Of course not. I love doing what I'm doing. And I write entirely too quickly to settle for a book or two published a year. My goal this year is FIVE. I will make that goal, if not surpass it.

*DEEP BREATH*

Queries stress me out. Not as much as a fucking synopsis, but still. And the absolute insanity, for me, is the repetition of matter. Most queries want a "query" and a synopsis and a sampling of work. Cool beans. But, they want it in different formats and in multiple ways.

This is entirely their right. They utilize what works best for them, and I'm sure they've winnowed down the process to the most expedient.

Do I like it?  NO. Do not like.

Do I understand it? Yes. Of course I do.

But, after a bit, the words start to blur. Oh. You want the first ten pages, first three chapters, or first four chapters? You want a paragraph summation or one sentence? You want me to prick my finger, or do you need a vein???

I don't even remember how many .docx tabs I had open. They filled the bottom of my screen, because I am trying to also be expedient. These two wants, mine and theirs, do not seem to mesh. 😂

But I persevere. It's my way. And so I tell you the same...stick to it. If you've a book or two you'd like to offer to an agent, please do. It IS worth it. I'm seeking wider distribution, as in more readers. I want book tours and bestsellers and bringing fans together. I want it all.

In the meantime, however, I'll finish editing "Out of the Shadows," my third book in my urban fantasy series and start work on book two of PT.

I'll probably also look at another romance. I've one circling pretty close. We'll see how book two of PT works out for me.

Best of luck. Always! 💖

Routine...I wish

People have routines. I envy them. I now realize I wake up daily with some semblance of an idea of what I'm going to do and hopefully enough energy to attempt.

I have the same thing for breakfast. Every day. I swear to everything I never prep the same way twice. I don't do step one every day. It's like my brain can't quite catch the repetitive hook. I have the steps. I don't have a set order.

I remind myself, daily, of what day of the week it is, because I do laundry on Friday. Sometimes, it ends up being Saturday or Sunday because I forget. Like...marker from a white board. Clean slate. I have one standing appt weekly I always forget what time. Never fails. I keep checking my text from them to make sure I have the right time.

It's exhausting.

I AM a planner person. Oooooooo...I am SUCH a planner person. Well, you know, I own pretty ones. And I've become fairly decent at writing in appts. Except, when I move the sacred planner. Where is that bastard now???

I've come to realize several of my "quirks" are, in fact, due to my ADHD. And that's perfectly fine. Except when executive dysfunction hits. Or, a new one, ADHD paralysis. Because why wouldn't there be such a thing? 🙄

Check this:

People with ADHD freeze (ADHD Paralysis) when overwhelmed by tasks, decisions, stress, or sensory input, feeling mentally or physically stuck, unable to start or prioritize, leading to mental shutdowns, procrastination, or distraction, stemming from impacts on executive function like planning and prioritizing. It's a neurological response, not laziness.

Hey hey! Party is in my grey matter. Non-stop. 🥳

All this to say, I somehow manage. It may not be pretty or timely, but I still attempt. And that, my friends, is the win we all hope for.

What if I use my OWN imagination AKA making it up as I go along

It's Wednesday. Didn't type that for you. Typed it for myself, so I would remember what day it was.

Yeah...it's like that.

I am completely appointmented out. Last week? All five days. This week? Three. 

meh

In completely unrelated news, writing on PT is popping. I'm banging out at least 5000-6000 words every day I write. It's smooth, and I'm...flabbergasted but grateful.

I mentioned in a post on FB that I feel this series has been germinating in me since I was twelve. And all the information I've digested since then only makes it stronger. 

The source material is basically unlimited.

And when I hit a dead end with a fictional character...I make shit up. Shhhhhh...🤫

You didn't know we did that? 🤔🤣

But here's the deal: it has to fit. And THAT is no small feat. I will research (rabbit hole) everything I can find on the time period and its people. Then I look at important dates. Study relatives. But when I hit an ancient character, and the only thing listed is father and brother?

I have fun with it.

It's trite to keep using the same characteristics for a certain type of character. Sure, we could make the vampire with dark hair, pale skin, and sharp incisors.

BORING.

What if we make him blonde? Maybe blue eyes that turn to grey when he changes? Good sense of humor. Loves garlic on his pizza. Admires his own reflection.

This is why I continually tell anyone who will listen to me about writing: LEARN THE RULES. BREAK THE RULES.

Or a werewolf that only turns human during the full moon? Banshees that sing lullabies? Hephaestus is insanely handsome but hides it as he doesn't want to be in a competition with the other gods.

The world is not only your oyster but every other seafood you can imagine.

But you need to make it fit. That's the magic. Developing a full character from a hazy description and two vague relatives. You are creating a fictional being with loves, hates, and quirks aplenty. And they need to add to the narrative. 

Have fun with it.

In shitty news, tomorrow they're cutting out the pilar cysts on my head. With fucking needles and stitches. 

I am...unwell. 🖕