Who am I kidding?

I am chaotic neutral. Emphasis on chaotic. I seek absolute freedom and individuality.

I'm attempting to stick to some type of schedule. My want for some type of organization is butting heads with my need to go with the flow and work and exist in the space that lets me create when I need/want to. It isn't remotely pretty.

I decided to take each day of the week and have at least one fixed item I will maintain and then continue to do what I'm drawn to.

I have Monday and Tuesday. 😬

Possible solutions? Try even harder. Acquire a jacket that buckles in the back. Go full rager. Have all my personalities gather for a therapy session. Keep on keepin' on. Lose what's left of my sanity.

Stellar options. *deepest sigh possible in the known universe*

Okay. Going to try this daily at least one fixed item. Then be about my business and what strikes me. How many days does it take to make a habit? Twenty-one? Awesome. Yes. I'm going to out-stubborn myself. Please don't ask me how this makes sense. It just somehow does. 

I hope. 😂

Always writing*

...and playing mind games with myself to do so

When I realized writers (me) were insane.

It happened to me. About a minute and a half ago. Taking a small brain break. Looking at FB. When it hit me. I am certifiable. Completely. And well with it.

Writers are insane. Insane obligatory definition:  in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction.

 That's my wheelhouse. But let me really explain a writer's insanity to you.

Right now, I'm making a TikTok/Insta video. I'm wearing my TARDIS pants, a ratty shirt, and my beautiful hair is pulled up in a not-so-cute bun. Laundry is laundrying. I'm drinking a Red Bull and water.

I have eight tabs open on one screen and my Clipchamp on the other screen with my project up. I'm sifting through 295 audio clips to find the perfect one to go with my visual I created on Canva. I color-coordinated my arrows on my visual to match my book cover. I changed the arrows up so my readers, hopefully, won't be bored with the look. I though using all the same arrows would be monotonous. Yes. I am stressing about ARROWS. 

I have my visual on screen for exactly 15 seconds because I want the audience to be able to read the necessary words but not grow so bored they swipe too quickly. That defeats the purpose. I will come up with a two or three sentence synopsis I will use to scroll-at the right speed-over said visual. It will also need to be the right color and font.

I started writing my fantasy romance. I've written a chapter. It's a good chapter. And I spent a great deal of two days typing '"word" synonym' because I had a word I could use, but it wasn't perfect. So I Thesaurus'd the hell out of some of the vocabulary looking for the EXACT verbiage I needed. Not satisfied until I found it. I scoured 65 pages of "Woman Fantasy Warrior" because I needed a good visual for my Hero, and I had to sift through fictional women wearing a handkerchief on the upper and lower bits. 65 pages, guys.

And I do this GLADLY. I look for the perfect everything when I write. I discard the meh, the almost, the "this COULD do", in favor of the shiniest, prettiest, best I can find for my audience.

The biggest tell-all of not quite being on the sane train?

I've taught myself this. I didn't know some of this organically. I love it. My SOUL loves it. The passion has ALWAYS been there. But if you would have told me that I would create something on Canva and then pop it on Clipchamp to add audio and THEN post it on my socials, I would have laugh-snorted and called you delusional.

But here I am. Looking like something Simba coughed up and creating content. 

I love my job. 

Always creating content and havoc...  

Saturday before 52.

Yesterday was incredibly busy. It was, for all intents and purposes, my day off. 

Stylist touched up my hair, yay for rose gold!, lunch with baby child, and participated at an event at the local book store.

I'm a wee bit tired this morning. Um...afternoon.

I'm trying to be more active on my FB page, Insta, and TikTok. I'm preparing bookmarks with codes for a free download of the first book in a series to take with me next month to the Home Run Author Event in Arlington, Texas.

I'm doing my plotting/pantster writing on my next work of Fantasy Romance. I have twenty separate pages in my OneNote Notebook of characters/scenes/villains. I am immersed, but I am thriving. It's such a fine line between exhilaration and exhaustion. 

But the love for the words is always there. I never grow tired of them. Weave and wind. Stitch and sew. 

Off to write a bit. Make notes. Hope everyone is having a good day! 

May take tomorrow of and play around on Amazon Prime and watch some murder/detective mysteries.

The heart wants what it wants.

Always writing*

...except when I turn 52

  

I'm astonished.

I bought PublisherRocket yesterday and have been playing with it since. It's an amazing tool that breaks down keyword and category searches on Amazon. It has tutorials. And it's full of information for authors. Handy ass tool I'm glad I have now.

But...and I say this as calmy as I can...I can now see which books are making bank and in which categories with what keywords they are using. Thus, the purpose of the site.

There is a book that is about an ungodly rich man having a one-stand with a virgin. They run into each other as their company's are doing business with each other. And there, on the landing page of the book, it states that it's a rich hero, virgin heroine, one-night stand, workplace romance HEA.

*blinks*

It's making bank.

There's no mystery. I've given you the entire book in the last paragraph. That's not a blurb, it's the damn book. And readers are eating it up. When I started publishing, we had to choose fewer categories, but that's not my point. I didn't publish a book that had:  Rich paranormal man uses false ad to imprison virgin woman to bear child. Rules of the contract prohibit further contact. Intrusive mother-in-law. Alpha male. HEA.

That's What He Wants, by the way.

I suppose I'll follow the trend, y'all know I hate the hell out of it. AND, of course the covers all look the same, and heaven forbid we buck that trend.

Hard being a visionary. 

Always writing*

...and researching...and flexing...

Matryoshka Dolls

I've always been fascinated by these. I'm not sure if it's the way they nest, or the fact they're perfectly copied. The name Matryoshka is beautiful. I read that it means "little matron" or basically "mother".

I have mental Matryoshka dolls all the damn time. I will open the largest, then the next, next, etc. I'll have all the tops and bottoms separated while I study them. And then I'll start putting them together in whichever order suits me.

My short ass is putting together an author's newsletter. Except I'm driving the struggle bus. I've fourteen tabs open. I've BookFunnel, Payhip, MailChimp, and the usual suspects open. Oh...MULTIPLE for the three I first mentioned.

Four days of stacking and sorting and studying my Matryoshkas. Shutting tabs until I was fairly confident of my success in this new world. Putting the ladies back together the way they should be. 

When I'm finished, I put the ladies back on their shelf. Until the next time.

Always writing*