Limitations

These can come in many forms.

Mine, for nearly the past four weeks, has been depression. I didn't realize, at first, that's what it was. When you're mired in it, it's the norm. But I began to realize...it's NOT the norm. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and PTSD along with chronic pain and a host of other ailments. I live and write DESPITE these assholes.

But I haven't been doing much of either. I've also been battling some type of stomach issue with nausea(???). Which could be, or could not be, related to any number of things I already have. Or hey! Could be something new and different. 😶

Interjecting a bit of humor here. Good thing about depression? You don't have much anxiety because you don't give a shit. Ba dum dum...

No energy. No appetite. Exactly no sense of humor. 

Missed a deadline (for myself) on my book. Am a month behind on all my writing things. I'm exhausted doing nothing. 

Thanks. I hate it.

That's me. Digging myself out right now. Battling daily to do the minimum. I haven't disappeared...exactly. More like my body put me in timeout. 😡

Ungrateful vessel.

Here's to a better November. 

💖

This week

Every one I've talked to has had a shitshow of a week. Monday was complete ass followed by several more days of "Is this week ever going to die?"

My Monday: We purchased washer hoses to change out. Supposed to be done every five years. Kudos if you do that. Anyway. Wife was at work. Unscrewing and screwing hoses in does not take more than I am capable. Or so I thought.

Cold hose off first since it's on top of the hot on the back of our washer. It's being uncooperative. I grab some pliers. Current situation is my full ass, on my stomach, stretched across the dryer, fiddling with some godforsaken cold hose. Finally get the SOB turning in the correct direction...ONLY TO FIND THAT IT'S NOT TURNED OFF.

Panic. Ensues.

Oh. Even though the cold water is turned OFF at the other hose, it most certainly is not. I try to tighten the hose back. I cannot. I lose a pair of pliers between the wall and the fucking washer. MORE CHOICE WORDS HAPPEN.

Call the wife at work to come shut off the water because I don't know how. The main water. She does it at street level.

Laundry room is flooded. I have another pair of pliers and an entire new vocabulary. 

I try to tighten the hose back. Little progress. Lost track of towels soaked and thrown in bathtub to wash later. 

Water finally off. 

Me=FURIOUS.

Also...Me=0. Washer=1.

😠  

I unscrew both hoses...still sprawled across the dryer and uncomfortable as fuck-all. Hot back on. Cold back on. 

Water back on.

Cold water hose still being a whore. Now leaking at the on/off handle.

Water turned off.

Wife wants to call plumber.

Ask her to give me another minute. 

Grab some plumber tape. Wind that shit around the last bit of connection. Screw the &*%%^*(#

cold hose back on.

Water on.

Finally working. Which is great since I have about a dozen towels to wash.

Tuesday, you ask?

Oh, my fibrolicious body was at a 2. Mentally and physically, I could not function. It was a bed day. I felt horrible from head-to-toe. Wasted day.

Wednesday was a bit of a revival. Went to Sam's and WM to grab some groceries.

Thursday--Two of the four granddaughters came up for the day! Always the best but feel like I've been beat afterwards. 💖😂

Friday--did some actual writing and research.

It's too damn hot. My body still aches. Not a lot tastes good. 

This week can pack itself up and mosey along now. 

Please.

Now.

Always writing*

...and saving what's left of my sanity