What's an author to do?

I've spent the last two days looking at ways to put my books in front of people and in their hands.  I may or may not have a large scream building in my chest.

I do.  I really do.

I looked at buying a "deal" on BookBub.  Love the site.  Went through the few questions.  I would slash the price on my book by half, and they would feature it.  I looked at taking a book from 3.99 to 1.99.  No problem.  The issue?  It would have cost me $938 to get in on that.  I thought I was seeing shit.  I magnified the page, and lo and behold, I was NOT seeing shit.  

As soon as I Googled about ads and marketing a couple days ago, FB has been loaded with all sorts of "pick me" posts pertaining to such.  Pubby kept showing up.  Looked good.  I go and bebop over.  Not for me.  And guess what?  If you have a Twitter, you basically hand it over to them.  LITERALLY hand it over to them.  They have control of it.  Hard pass.

An ad for Kirkus Reviews, an incredibly powerful name in reviews.  I guess they partnered with FB to offer a free five-point marketing and selling blueprint on social media.  Clicked on that in a red hot minute.  Read the not-so-fine-print.  You're giving FB control of your private data.  Like here, you absolute megalomaniac, have at.  I was pissed about this one.  I expected better from Kirkus Reviews.  Pity.

I can pay $150 to be in a magazine-type brochure thing.  I read the reviews on it.  Not sure it's worth it.  There's a woman who apparently makes a living doing marketing for others.  $110 for FB and her 10,000 users.  ONE POST.  Similar charge for Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.  That's a shot in the dark.  Spitting in the wind.  Whatever cute little colloquialism you'd like to tap.  Why isn't there something affordable and yet truly useful?  $20-$40 a week for a static ad on a site.  A place authors can go to have readers review their book without paying an egregious amount.  Why is this difficult?

When I get like this, I feel like slapping a big ol' "S" on my chest and making a site for myself that does this.  It's beyond frustrating.  But no.  I've enough to do without attempting to do it all.

I'm learning.  They say it couldn't be done.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Always writing*

...writing, Crystal...simmer your ass down, sister...