Executive Dysfunction

Putting the "fun" in ADHD.

"Executive dysfunction" is a term used to describe faults or weaknesses in the cognitive process that organizes thoughts and activities, prioritizes tasks, manages time efficiently, and makes decisions.

Executive function skills are used to establish structures and strategies for managing projects and to determine the actions required to move each project forward.

In other words, let's say I have an appt at one o'clock. I am up at nine. Eat breakfast. Shower. Get dressed. I am worthless until said appt. I will do absolutely nothing until the appt because I am frozen until then. I literally an UNABLE to do anything else but wait for that appt. 

I have no idea why.

Science. 

I didn't know there was a term for this bullshit.

Surprise! There so is.

This is also the term for my short ass needing to write but unable to do so. I will alphabetize my tchotchkes before I open a Word document. *pulls out hair in author*

The frustration level, right now, is nearly at crying jag point. It's not simply "writer's block". No. This is some next-level cognitive fucked-up shit.

Now.

I've consulted with my mental med doc. We're going to start me on some ADHD meds, but they are CONTROLLED because Hey! Of course they fucking are. And she's not a "doctor" but a practitioner, so I must attend a fifteen minute meeting in three weeks, from a "doctor" warning me of the addictive nature of the med I want to try for this brain fuck.

Never mind the fact I took myself off Oxycodone after the hip surgery because I hated it, and I've gone cold turkey off Tramadol and Percocet because my prescribing PCP passed away. (She prescribed pain meds for my fibro. Good woman.)

ANYWAY...I feel like I'm spinning wheels with the barest of tread, and I'm fucking so over it, I could probably write a book about THAT.

 

Deep breath now that I've vented my spleen. WOOSAHHHHHHH