In a perfect world, my short ass would tap tap tap away creating worlds that readers would enjoy whilst others worried about book covers, editing, marketing, publishing, et al. I would do book tours, signings, and anything else required, but my main job would be the stories.
In the real world, I have depression, anxiety, fibro, and am prone to headaches. Actually have one working my right temple currently. Depression and anxiety are a ridiculous pair of assholes you think would ALMOST contradict each other. Like hey! You sorry fuckers should cancel each other out! Alas, no. I, at least, understand depression for what it is. Anxiety? ANXIETY? It's your brain playing chicken with you.
Why are you anxious, Crystal? I have no idea. Seriously? Yeah. Take it up with my brain. 😑
I literally lost a week to fibro. Had the worst flare of my life on the weekend, and it pretty much sucked the life out of me through the week. Body flared. Weak. It was awful. My PCP and I believe stress triggers it. 😫 Hey Anxiety! Nice to see you again, you absolute POS. 😡
Immersing myself in writing calms my circuits down. I may bitch, whine, and moan, but it's absolutely therapeutic. It's when I am at my best. It's falling down the rabbit hole on purpose and skipping down any path you choose and knowing, KNOWING, it'll still be better than what's topside.
Writers are prone to depression. I've many theories as to why. But a large part of me thinks it's because we have to come back out of the rabbit hole.
Always writing*
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