Fresh out of a lot of things.
Thanksgiving was good. I DID mess up the mac 'n' cheese. Yeah. Catch that. Overcooked the bastards. 😖
Also caught a cold or something from one or more of the grands. How do I know this? Probably because the last time I was sick, bronchitis and PNEUMONIA, it was directly after a grandchild bday party. Lo and behold, my immunocompromised self loves rolling the dice.
True story? I'd do it all again.
This year has been...something. January lasted three months. February wasn't much better. End of this year is OctoberNovemberDecember.
Whoa! Pump the brakes. Jesus. Can a girl catch her breath?
haha
No.
This week I have two med appts, an ortho appt (fuck my right shoulder to hell and back), and a therapy appt.
Oh, and I'm going cold turkey on the Pepsi.
Y'all, pray for Molly.
I'd lost around fifty pounds and gained every damn pound back because of sugar. Well, because I'm a weak-ass woman with sugary wishes and caffeine dreams.
Either way.
Back on the wagon.
sigh...
Thought I'd throw in the fact I'm driving the struggle bus, trying to fix a flat, and wondering where in the hell that squeaky noise is coming from.
Could be me whining.
I'm beyond frustrated with so much right now.
The chronic pain. The depression. Anxiety. ADHD. Missing Simba. Right shoulder. Insomnia. Fatigue every minute of every day. This BS cold or whatever the hell it is.
I'm a shitshow. We've discussed this. I accept it as my default. Most times, I have a lot of fun with it. Simply shrug my shoulder at something outright Crystaly and move on. Giggle at myself.
I'm not laughing.
I'm not remotely amused.
I feel diminished. Like I can't shine properly.
And, I DO love to shine. 🌞
Maybe I'll receive some lovely news about my shoulder. Or I'll find a day, any day, with energy. Or I'll want to write again without forcing myself.
Or
Or
I guess we'll all see.
💖
