My fair share of tribulations

I have fibromyalgia. I'm in chronic pain every day. My starting pain number is a 5, on a non-chronic pain patient's numbers. Mine runs from 5-12.

I had a book event Saturday in Waukomis, Oklahoma. My God, it was so much fun and truly amazing! What fell far short of that is how my body felt about two, of the four, hours in. I hated the chair I sat in. My spine, right hip, and both arms began to flare. Fibro speak for throwing a fucking tantrum.

Fibro causes severe pain in muscle and joints. And there's no rhyme or reason, IMO. My worst flares occur, usually, in my arms. It feels like someone slit the skin open from shoulder to elbow, reached in with both hands, and are wringing the muscle like a wash rag. Then there are the sharp pains, usually my legs and feet. Burning and tingling, also feet but add hands. Dull and throbbing could be, and is, everywhere. 

I've been diagnosed nearly two decades. 

Monday, I went with my middle child to clean out a storage locker which needed to be cleaned out years ago. I put stuffed animals in a plastic bag to wash. I moved a few things, nothing heavy, around, and threw some books, in an old crate, into the backseat of my car.

I didn't know if I was going to make it home. It was an hour drive back. I barely made it. Had to take a shower. Vaguely remember that. And then I crawled into bed. My body gave the "we're done" order, and I...was...done.

I've been in bed the past two days. Monday and Tuesday are a wash. I only got up today to take another shower and grab a WM pick-up. 

I spent the time in bed, in great pain. We're talking a 9-10 on my modified scale. I would've gladly harmed someone for a pain pill. (I only take ibuprofen and acetaminophen.) This is the time I consider pain management because there is NO managing this shit.

I don't medicate until I feel better. I medicate until I can function. 

My back, right hip, feet, hands, head, and arms absolutely shut the fuck down on me. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. Random sharp shit in my extremities. Throbbing aches in my arms. Painful vice grips on my right hip and my lower spine. 

I hurt right now, but I can mostly deal with it. I'll make sure and take my OTC drugs every however many hours. 

This is one of my big tribulations. Disappearing from social media, even for a couple of days is nearly the kiss of death. Especially for someone in the writing business. Add in the fact I'm releasing "Canary: Out of the Shadows" on November 14th, and you have yourself a shitshow. 

I am truly, TRULY, the star. 😬 

To tie it up with a bow, we all have our shit we go through. Try not to be so hard on yourself during these times. We tend to beat ourselves up over the smallest slight to ourselves while gladly forgiving others of the same.

Be kind.

And pass me a fucking pain pill...😄