Slowly but surely

The other day I Googled how to clean blood off of steel. I'm not remotely ALL the way back, but it was a first step.

I see other writers zipping ahead with upcoming releases, and I'm happy for them. Because that feeling is AH-mazing. I haven't finished anything this year.

Yet.

Stings a bit, yeah. 

Okay...more like I whacked a wasp nest and am standing at ground zero. 

It's hard to come to terms with limits. But this year has felt like hitting a wall every time I turn around. And it's a right bitch.

Physically? My body is a shitshow. Fibro flares. My right arm? Oooooooo....she is not nice. Daily. Nerve zaps from here to there. Yada.

Mentally? Have I MENTIONED we're playing with mood stabilizers and ADHD meds? Which has spun me into a depression I heretofore have not felt in years? HAVE I? 😶

Sure I have. 😬

But life continues. I'm still supposed to roll out of bed and live my life as though everything is honky-dory. Because masking works for other people. It's cool to be depressed as fuck as long as I don't rain on anyone's parade. As long as I laugh when I'm supposed to and pretend I'm not dying inside. 

Been there. Done that. 

I'm clawing my way back. I think, MAYBE, the new mood stabilizer might be working. I start the full dosage Wednesday, and I hope I can turn a little corner. A baby corner, if you will. 

And maybe I can find my Muse again. I used to kid Simba was my Muse, as his little furry ass kept me company in my office. But all I have are his ashes now, and that's a kick in the balls on the daily. 

Rough year, innit?

Red Dirt Romance Book Event

Red Dirt Romance Book Event

I'll be here with half-price books on two or three titles. Cleaning out inventory to make room for more! 💖

RDR Book Event is an 18+ romance book signing event that takes place the last day of the RomanceLahoma conferene.

Where: Embassy Suites by Hilton Downtown Medical Center

When: August 2nd

Time: 2-5pm, Registration Required, No walk-ins

Six steps for the perfect burnout

Turning the traction control off! ...

Putting in first gear, left foot on the clutch. ...

Roaring the engine and putting enough pressure on the throttle, so the tachometer hits around 3000 to 3500 RPM.

Releasing the clutch which gets the tires spinning.

Pushing the break immediately!

*****************************************

Not to brag, but I only needed like three steps. 

And I'm spinning my wheels right now over 10,000 rpm and going nowhere, so be jelly. 😌

Writing ideas, and continuations, come in fits and starts, but I feel paralyzed. 

Simba's loss is an open wound. Briefly thought about opening up to another feline. Promptly shut that down. Way too soon. Way way too soon.

My Executive Dysfunction is Top Tier. 

Body Flares? Oh, they are star-spangled, let me tell you. My chronic pain starts at a 5, daily. It's been popping at a 8/9 for around a week or so. Makes me ponder, once again, about pain management. But I fear that once I'm in, I'm literally never out. Scares the shit out of me. But I can't take this daily. It hurts to everything. 😠😖

I did decide, in the abyss of trying to find an app to help me...(we often reach for odd things when we're sinking)...to try "Finch." Let me know if you also are on this interesting bird app, we can be featherheads together!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

I may also suck at this and leave my wee pink Strawberry hatched and homeless. 😬

But we all hope not. 😑

And this country???

OH

MY

FUCK

😡😭

You know.

That's me. Bothered. Unmoisturized. Swerving from lane to lane. Burnt right the fuck up and out.

With TWO Book Conferences in August!

Good news there being I think I'm going to half price three of my titles.

😄😘

Back to dust moting...