Spun up

I've been working on PT, my women's fiction. I mean WORKING. I've nearly 15,000 words after a week. This Chaos Cow is poppin'.

Now.

Then.

Except...when my ADHD is ADHDing. Then life is a bit less rosy.

We received a gift today in the mail. No return address of help. I open it and note of a plethora of something we've received roughly six times this Christmas. I am not upset about the gift. I'm upset about the proliferation of said gift in my household. This also stems from the fact I think certain relatives are telling OTHER certain relatives I literally only like ONE FUCKING THING.

I'm not that girl.

If they would only speak to me. They would discover I like many things. Many simple things. And this is simply a gross reminder that no one in my INCREDIBLY DYSFUNCTIONAL family talks to one another. So it truly ISN'T about the gift, it's about the ridiculous amount of time my family spends NOT talking to one another.

It spun me up.

Not gonna lie.

There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. Throwing hands up. Profanity.

And you may be thinking...calm your tits, Crystal. How bad can it be? Receiving a thoughtful gift in the mail from someone who cares about you???

But there's the rub. I love these people, and throwing a thoughtless gift at me is aggravating.

Ask me what I like, if you're going to make an effort. I'd rather have gel pens or post-it notes or notebooks. I'm a basic chickie. I mean BASIC, guys. 

So now I'm off my game. Staring at my open document. Resentful. Annoyed. Aggravated. 

And it's probably a small thing, but to me it spun up like an F-3 tornado.

Rant over.

I'll go and appreciate my gift.

But apparently, not writing anymore today.

sigh