I dislike remakes

I say this firmly, head held high, eyes straight. Why mess with a classic?

But money talks, and extraordinarily bullshit copycats are made. Off the top of my head, I would throat punch ANYONE wanting to remake:  Labyrinth (you don't mess with Bowie in a codpiece, Ludo, or the cutest fucking worm ever created...the end), The Breakfast Club (the cast, the chemistry, and Bender 💖), The Princess Bride (As you wish, the best dialogue ever created, THAT CAST), or The Lost Boys (vampires, that soundtrack, costumes, Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland).

Because you can't replicate nostalgia. You know what I mean. That feeling when you first watched Bowie twirl those crystal balls in his hand. Mesmerizing you with those eyes. Your heartbeat slamming in your chest when Judd slipped Molly's earring into his ear. The absolute pin drop when Cary stood, pointed at Chris, and demanded, "Drop. Your. Sword."

Viewers' reactions are so pure at first watch. And we chase that high again and again on rewatch. I will never grow tired of watching the crew dance on top of the railing in the library. I will always swoon watching David and Jennifer glide around at the masquerade ball. Billy and Carol send me into stitches every time. And when the boys drop from tracks? Goosebumps.

Would The Princess Bride be the same with Nicholas Galitzine? Honestly, he would be a great Westley, if there weren't an already even greater one previous. And who would, God forbid, play Inigo Montoya?

I shudder. Okay, maybe Lin-Manuel. But I'm just spit-balling, and may this never ever happen.

Money can't buy nostalgia. It can't purchase the feelings we feel when we settle in to watch these movies or shows that mean so much to us and evoke strong feelings of joy. Anything less than the original is simply a cheap copy meant to pacify us long enough to spend our dollars and keep these assholes repeating this pattern.

Always writing...

and diatribing about remakes, apparently...