Dietary doings

My short ass has gained and lost weight so many times, it's not remotely funny. Over decades. I was pregnant three years in a row. Then I lost all that weight. Gained it back. Repeat ad nauseum.

I've tried, and successfully used: step aerobics, Tae-Bo, The Firm, Denise Austin, walking, and aerobics.

But something major would inevitably happen, and I would put the weight back on. Oh. Had an ulcer once. Lost weight with that, too. Mustn't forget that. Had a friend ask me what diet I was on. Told her the ulcer diet.

sigh

Lost hundred pounds for my hip surgery. Retired and gained sixty of it back. I've now lost fifty of that. 

My poor body.

I started Keto last September. Not being a moderate person, I, of course, went cold turkey. I stopped my comfort food of sourdough toast and skimmed milk for breakfast. 😭

I began to experiment with eggs. (I have to have a hot breakfast.)

Then I added sausage to that. I'm finally happy with where I'm at there. Fills me up. Tastes good. 

Woot! 🥳

Other meals can be...difficult.

I like meat. No hardship. Sometimes I'll make shrimp fajitas in the air fryer and eat on that for a couple of days. Sometimes I'll repeat breakfast. Chicken. Tacos. Meatloaf. 

Secret is to use pork panko crumbs for the meatloaf and low-no carb tortillas for the tacos. You wouldn't believe the offerings out there now. 

I've checked out books from the local library for research. Follow some groups on Facebook. 

Sometimes I get discouraged, but I'm fitting into pants I've not seen in a bit and buying more in a size that makes me smile. 

Keto works for me, and I see it continue to work. It's something I can do long-term. My lab numbers, cholesterol and whatnot, are good. No worries there.

It hasn't helped my chronic pain, but I'll take what I can get. 😌

If you're still searching for something that works for you, don't give up. There are a million combinations of foods and diets. Your body is unique. Don't try to make it do something it doesn't want to. Dip a toe. See if you can work within the parameters. Tweak it a bit. Keep looking for your fit.

Good luck!

Crystal*

Am I a real writer now???

Imposter syndrome:  "Imposter syndrome (IS) is a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals." This definition is straight from the NIH (National Institutes of Health).

I've always heard the term and have known the basic definition BUT didn't know it was among "high-achieving individuals" supposedly.

I'm fairly open with my mental health. Good days. Bad. Weird. It's whatever. And I don't struggle with imposter syndrome often...but when I DO...ugh.

"They" (other authors):

More fans

More books published

More connections

Farther along than I am

All over the news

More sales

FILL IN THE BLANK

What do I do when this happens?

First...I take a deep breath. In through the nose...out through the mouth. About five of these bad boys. 

I remind myself that every journey is not the same. This is important. I've been through it. I'm still working through it. I'm proud of myself. Periodt.

I love the connections I have. I'll make more over time through my work and other book conferences and conventions.

EVERYONE is somewhere different on their author journey. This is a good reminder.

I am where I'm supposed to be right now. I'm a firm believer in this one. Keeps me grounded and thankful.

It's easy to be downtrodden when you think, perhaps, you've not lived up to some expectation in your head or compare yourself to someone else's highlights. Part of that is human nature. But we have the capacity to remind ourselves how amazing we truly are. We can look back at OUR journey and marvel at accomplishments. We have every right to have pride in what we can and are capable of. Don't dismiss yourself out of hand. 

Don't dismiss yourself at all. 💖

Am I a real writer now? 

I was a real writer the moment I tapped key to monitor with intention back in 2005. Now? I simply need to remind myself of it.

Crystal*

Age old question for writers...

...plotter or pantser?

Let me tell you. I'd read tea leaves, if they told a good story. 😂

But seriously, I've tried to plot a story. It's not for me. I don't even wish it were for me. And I'll tell you why. I write by clicks. When I write, it's like a massive set of dominoes that's been set up. I start when the first domino falls.

If ever a domino doesn't fall, I've lost my click. I'm off the path. I stop. Find my way back. Begin again. Push the domino down and continue. 

I've added elements in a novel that I consciously didn't know where in the hell they came from, only to have them swoop back in, to perfectly make sense two-hundred pages later. When that happens?

Oh. You can't tell me NOTHING. 🥳 

I admire those that plot. You have your entire story all worked out. Plot points. The whole she-bang. You're amazing. 

I honestly don't think I could do it even under threat of harm. 🤔

Case in point, I have a scene, a HUGE SCENE, in "Out of the Shadows" that I've written three times, in three different ways.

If you guessed I'm writing it today, in a new and different way, you'd be correct. This version is going in the final manuscript. It fits better. I'm constantly trying to improve on what I do and how I do it. My brain is constantly running 100 meter sprints like an idiot, and I can't get the damn thing to stop. And I'm also working on other projects that my grey matter deems important at two something in the morning because WHY NOT? 😶

I don't like the word "pantser" because I feel that's not representative of me and who I am as a writer. Never much liked pigeonholes, anyway. So, I'm going to say I'm a mood writer. Because THAT has everything to do with what's coming out of the brain and through the fingertips.

Maybe I'm a moody writer.

Maybe this is going downhill fast.

Always writing*

Red Bulls and book covers

Slamming Red Bulls and making book covers.

Ahhhh...what a day. 😂

First go at "Canary: Out of the Shadows." 

It's the final book in the "Canary" trilogy.

What do you think?

Going to let this marinate for a few and look back at it. I hope. Or I could spend all day picking at it. 🤔

Decisions. Decisions.

😶

Conflict, Stakes, and Tension

Yessssss...

I'm a member of the Oklahoma Romance Writers Guild. We meet once a month and often have wonderful speakers who delve a bit farther into our craft. Dawn Alexander gave yesterday's presentation about "Conflict, Stakes, and Tension."

First things first.

Dawn was great. Presentation pacing was on point. Information was both precise and valuable. Would recommend her to any groups looking for an interesting and knowledgeable speaker. Her pop culture references are also fun. 😄

Second things second.

You can be a member of OKRWG for free. No matter where you are. It's a great group, and you will love the support, the growth, and the continuing education for members.

Third things third.

I have anxiety prime. But I LOVE tension in a book. If I'm not gripping the cover, or my phone, I need things to pick up.

And writing it? The greater the tension? The bigger my smile. I'm contrary that way. 😂

Some important things I noted from Dawn's talk as an author:

What happened the day before the story started?

Characters must keep encountering problems. If they reach goal midway, they must encounter a new set of problems.

NOT making a decision is STILL making a decision.

Internal Conflict is a character's line in the sand.

Don't make characters too self-aware in the beginning.

If you're creating tension in a scene...don't plop down the whole loaf of bread (my visual)...drop breadcrumbs. Be slow and deliberate in the scene.

*******

I learned long ago characters need both internal and external conflict. And these conflicts need layers. No person is one-dimensional. 

Your characters shouldn't be, either.

Always writing*

...just me and my anxiety prime...then I'm laughing thinking about an A on my chest and Hester Prynne which really isn't funny but then I segued into Emma Stone and the A on HER chest, and I probably need to go back to the list I made myself today and quit spit-balling...

The worm has turned...

...the indecisive asshole.

Me. Today.

Because why NOT drive myself crazy with three crucial scenes in "Canary: Out of the Shadows"? And why not finally give a story to a character name I couldn't get out of my grey matter about a week ago? I mean...WHY THE HELL NOT???

This?  This insanity smooths my edges. I'd rather be a chaotic cow tapping maniacally away than a sad sow looking at my keyboard longingly.

So. Bring on the chaos and the characters and all the mania and mayhem.

I've been waiting for you...

Also...my favorite worm right here. (No shade to Slimey.)

I need a mechanic for my struggle bus

Today, my brain is braining. But it is not, of course, braining like I NEED it to brain.

I need the fucker to focus.

The wee grey matter does not want to focus on writing. It doesn't want to focus on posting on my FB page. The bastard isn't cooperating at all.

I am...displeased.

My goals for this year are large. LARGE, I tell you. Sitting on my hindquarters, staring into the ether, and having the most random shit boot-scoot through is NOT productive. 

It is quite maddening.

I don't exactly need more maddening.

I want to finish three book titles this year, but I've mentally upped that to four because why not fuck with myself? Actually, one is not a romance, and I've mostly finished it. But it needs some heavy editing. It's not for the faint of heart, and I often wonder why murdery books don't sell as well as romance. True crime, to me, is horrifying and yet fascinating. I used to read thrillers, but they've waned for me lately. 

I've taken to watching The Hunting Party, and I'm on the fence a bit. The premise is AMAZING. 

"The Hunting Party follows a small team of investigators who are assembled to track down and capture the most dangerous killers ever seen, all of whom have just escaped from a top-secret prison that's not supposed to exist."

But the episodes are squished tight. There is so much information they need to convey, it feels like you've only received the clues, and then you've caught the killer. They should have made each episode two parts. Explored the character and his/her behavior and rehabilitation techniques further. The psychology is fascinating.

Think I'll go read and maybe clear out the cobwebs...